Welcome to the Family - Mrs. Sherryl W. Jackson
My Mother raised me at an early age to be a nurturer. I can still remember her teaching me to make cornbread at 6 years old and how she’d go next door to the neighbors to brag about how well I could do so at such an early age. She taught me how to starch and iron clothes on an ironing board to perfection. This turned out to be both a blessing and a curse. I soon became my siblings “go-to” person for all their ironing needs, or their “designated dishwasher,” lol! I cannot begin to tell you how many pairs of jeans and dresses I starched and ironed for my older brother and sister. I was number four out of five children, the typical BabyGirl with all of the “I’m gonna tell Mama on you sassiness!” My parents were separated but my Mother made sure my siblings and I were brought up in church. My Mother was a strong, loving woman being reared in a very close knit Church of Christ Holiness family herself. Then, the unimaginable struck our family early on. My eldest brother was killed tragically in his senior year of high school during the first football game of the season. It sent our family into a tailspin. My mother suffered for many years with depression. But stick with me now, as that’s not where the story ends. It took many years, but God graced us to see our way through and to get back on track.
I think my strongest impression of family was my maternal grandparents who were married for almost 70 years, raising ten children in the rural south. They were strong Christians, praying about everything, having strong faith in God. That’s where my spiritual roots began, watching this devoted couple. They were both short in stature, my grandfather no more than 5’4”, my grandmother 5’0” or so. However, the saying is true: “it’s not the height of a man that determines his stature.” They farmed for a living, they didn’t have much, but they made life look easy. What was so amazing about them was their faith in God, their consistent prayer life, and their love for each other, their family, and their fellow man. Whenever we would go to visit, at twelve noon sharp, they had family noonday prayer. It didn’t matter if you were a visitor or the insurance man. If you were there at twelve noon, you had to fall to your knees to enjoy the fervent prayers delivered by my Grandfather and Grandmother. Again, that’s where my spiritual roots were planted, and later ignited.
Now fast forward many years later. I find myself a wife of over 34 years. My husband and I have been a couple for 41 years now. We have a blended family, and reared four children—two boys and two girls. Both my husband and I worked. My husband, our protector, worked two jobs most of the time to help support our family. Though we worked to support the family, we never neglected the foundational scripture: “train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6) as we firmly believed in it. We made sure our children attended Sunday School and church, that they sung in the choir, and that they were active participants in all the youth auxiliaries of the church and so forth.
In the early years, ours was a sit around the dinner table type of home. As our children became older and more involved in extracurricular activities at school and the community, schedules had to be juggled. However, we maintained their spiritual upbringing. I can’t tell you how many football games we have sat through. We traveled for countless hours on school buses to playoff games sitting in rain, sleet, extreme heat, etc. to cheer our children on. Then, there was band practice, piano lessons, keyboard festivals and competitions, dance rehearsals and recitals, chorus, basketball, and track, just to name a few more activities. There were school fundraisers and bake sales at church, competitions with the National Baptist Convention Drill Teams and so many fun memories. Now, looking back in retrospect I have learned that training up a child in the way they should go in scripture actually means that parents should cultivate the “bent, or direction that they’re (your children) leaning towards.” In other words, little Johnny or Susie does not have to be in everything. They should be involved in the things that lead to fulfilling the purpose of God in their lives.
Let me pause to say that it’s very important to stand firm with your children and be the adult first. We certainly can’t always be their friend. My children chide me to this day about being too strict. Trust me, it was not popular to say “no” and one can just imagine the whining because “everybody else was going, or doing it” … whatever “it” was at the time. Now, without a doubt, I know how important it is to teach children to have a relationship with God instead of just teaching them to go to church. And, my children — to God be the glory— understand this as well.
Through the years we have wiped many a tear, gave numerous pep talks and prayed our way through. All the while, I also sang in the church choir, helped with the Drill Team, the Youth Starlight Band and Junior Mission Auxiliaries and am now the proud teacher of the Adult Ladies Sunday School class at my church. During this time my husband and I both cared for our ailing parents and other relatives that have now gone home to be with the Lord. I will say that none of this would be possible without the power of prayer and faith in God’s precious promises. Some prayers that I still confess over my family today are Eph 6:10-18 “Putting on the whole armor of God.” Isaiah 54:13-17 -“All my children shall be taught of the Lord.” Isaiah 53:4-5 and I Peter 2:24 “By Jesus stripes we are healed.” Psalm 91, “Dwelling in the secret place of The Most High”...just to name a few.
The children are all grown now and doing well. My husband and I are officially empty nesters. Each child is different, we know them now like the back out of hands. One may call and say “hey what are you doing”...I know it’s leading to something more detailed. Another may call and say “momma guess what.” The other will call and say “mama, I need you to do me a favor” and one will call and say “hey Mabel” from Tyler Perry’s MaDea Fame although my name is not Mabel, lol. It’s alright, I reply back “hey Mabel!” We are the proud grandparents of eight, with a great grand on the way. My husband and I also help with after school care for our 5 year old granddaughter and have been helping out with her since the pandemic. It has been very interesting trying to keep up with her; making homemade blueberry waffles and smoothies, playing hopscotch and trying to be her teacher.
I would not mislead you to think that building a family and a marriage was easy. Marriage alone is a lot of give and take, love, humility and compromise. We have endured life’s many ups and downs. Sickness, the loss of loved ones and dear friends, disappointments, heartache and pain. For example, when my husband retired in January 2010, he suffered a mild stroke that same month. Life shifted for us somewhat, but through it all, I never lost my faith. I must be honest and say I have been discouraged at times, even too weak to pray. But thank God when that happens, there’s always a brother or sister-in-Christ who will cover me in prayer. And, in those times, I am fully persuaded that the prayers that I’ve prayed in advance and the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross continues to cry out for me.
So if you’re like me and you didn’t come from the perfect family and you’re still trying to figure it out, don’t fret, accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. He worked it out for me as He will work it all out for you. Jesus is coming back for a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but His church should be holy and without blemish (Eph. 5:27). You can be a part of this family if you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, confess yours sins, repent and ask him into your heart. Why wait? Now is as good of a time as ever to accept Jesus Christ and to become a part of His family, the ekklesia, the called out church of the living God. And, if you’ve done so, I say welcome to “The Family.”
BONUS!!!!!!!!!
Mrs. Jackson offers the wisdom of 32 years of marriage. Here’s a toolkit packed full of nuggets to help us all get better together.
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY TOOLKIT
The fruit of the Spirit must be active in marriage.
“…love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance against such there is no law” (Gal 5:22-23) Extend these things liberally.
Love it paramount.
“Now abideth faith, hope and charity, but the greatest of these is charity (Love)” (1 Cor 13:13)
There is Godly order in marriage.
The Bible says that the wife should submit to her husband and the husband should submit to his wife. (I Peter 3). They should walk in love, esteeming and delighting in one another as Christ loved them and gave Himself up for them, a slain offering and sacrifice to them and God, so that it became a sweet fragrance (Ephesians 5).
Marriage require constant prayer.
This requires a lot of prayer, as we become one another’s helpmate; loads of compassion, long suffering, forgiveness must be readily extended freely as God in Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:31-32). That’s why the marital vows say that marriage is not to be entered into lightly! The marital journey is a marathon, not a sprint. It is not for the faint of heart.
Marriage is a covenant.
After the kiss that seals the covenant —marriage is a covenant between the husband, the wife, God and a witnessing community of faith —the happily ever after begins. This happily ever after is actually life. Our commitment to God, to our family, to the Church, is work. Rearing children, maintaining the home, caring for aging parents, encountering sickness, loss and personal aging makes for pressure in the marriage. When life happens one must stay the course, make sure our anchor holds, and it will if Christ is our anchor. “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward” (Hebrews 10:35). Cast away means to throw away, lose or shed it. This requires endurance, doing it God’s way in order to receive the prize, or the reward that God has promised.
Be balanced.
After we have been the biggest cheerleaders for our children, pushing them to be as successful as they can be, if not careful married couples can grow apart. In God ordained families, God is first, Christ the head, then comes the family followed by the church. If we’re not careful, we can cater to the church and not make the necessary time for our families as well. There has to be a balance, I’m still learning this. We can be so busy trying to get to the destination that we don’t enjoy the journey. God wants us to have abundant life of joy and peace.
