Part Two: Therapy
After the collision came therapy.
The car was at the collision center being repaired. I had a rental car to ease any transportation difficulties in the meantime. Everything was moving in the right direction until I realized that I too, needed to be repaired.
About three days after the accident, I began feeling pain in my neck and back. This was pain that prevented sleep. This was pain that impaired mobility. This was pain that made rational thinking difficult. So, I took a trip to my doctor who deemed the most responsible treatment to be physical therapy.
Well, I had mixed feelings about therapy. I'd endured it before for an existing condition only to find that it didn't help in the long run. Sessions would cause more pain and lengthy recovery periods and when I was released from therapy, I found that my mobility was still impaired. Even though my experience in the past hadn't been the best, I thought that it would be worth a try to see if this time things would be different.
They were.
My therapist assessed my damages in the first visit and prescribed a course of action for me to begin experiencing reduced pain and more mobility. This prescription included a series of stretches, strength exercises, core development, balance training and some cardio. I was to fully engage these movements twice a week and to do them at home between sessions.
There were highs and lows.
Some days, I could do everything I was asked. Other days I struggled. All the stretching and pushing and core development were tedious. In the beginning, I had to remind myself of the importance of what I was doing so that I didn't give up and quit. During this time, I can remember coming to work in a fight for every step. Sitting too long was uncomfortable. Standing too long caused me to shift my weight to find just the right position. Sleeping required many pillows in various places to prevent waking up in cramps. My heating pad and a hot tub of water were my constant companions. Listen, you literally cannot tell me anything bad ever about those friends because they were ride or die through the entire experience.
I can also remember often reporting that I was in pain after my sessions to which my therapist made a distinction that I'll never forget. One day when I was explaining where it hurt, he stopped me to ask if I was in pain or if I was sore. He explained that there was a difference and that soreness was to be expected because we were working muscles we'd not worked before. For example, strengthening my lumbar region required that I strengthen my deep abdominal muscles so that my body could use them to support the injured areas. Doing squats made my legs and glutes burn like the dickens; but, picking up items correctly without overcompensating or without triggering an already distressed sciatic nerve demanded those muscles' participation. So was I sore or was I in pain?
In the beginning of therapy it is safe to safe that I was in an all out war with pain. However, as time went on, I could tell that the sensation I was feeling was more soreness. In other words, I was starting to heal and new areas of growth were springing up. I noticed that my steps were quicker. I was able to get up and down the stairs at work without wanting to cry. I was able to move my head without turning the rest of my body to avoid hurt. My muscles were sore; but I wasn't hurting anymore.
Eventually, I progressed so well through therapy that my guy started to challenge me with kettle bells and free weights while completing my workout. Yes, I said workout because therapy ceased to be therapy once I began to heal. It transformed into an actual workout and I started to see results in my mobility and in the mirror! A non-intended perk.. .😊 😀 😇
Soon, my therapist and I would have the conversation of all conversations.
Him: "Are you ready?"
Me: stretching on the mat "Ready for what?"
Him: smiling "To be released..."
Me: stops stretching "Today?"
Him: "Yes today...you're ready. Let's discuss next steps."
Me: "Really?"
Him: "Yes really. You're gonna get bored doing the same thing over and over...let's look into some classes that'll really challenge you and if you ever need to come back, don't hesitate. Remember always your posture and form and remember the important thing is to keep moving. Get involved in some sort of program right away."
I couldn't believe it! I had moved from pain to great gain! My past experiences with physical therapy almost kept me from this new experience. Then, the pain of the accident "almost" consumed the ability to see the growth that was happening. Finally, therapy had transformed into workout! Sometimes I was sore but I was building muscle. I was building strength. I was increasing energy. I was increasing in mobility. The benefits far outweighed the feeling I had when I started the process and to continue to experience the benefits, I just needed to find a way to keep on moving.
Umph... Keep on moving...because if I stay in therapy... keep on moving...because if I keep rehashing the pain...keep on moving...because if I don't recognize the soreness is building muscle...keep on moving...because if I never say yes to the challenge... keep on moving...because if I don't let go of where I've been...keep on moving...because if I keep letting anxiety beat me...keep on moving ...because if I keep having these sleepless nights...keep on moving ...because if I keep on holding on to unforgiveness...keep on moving...because if I don't start operating in peace...keep on moving ...because if keep getting frustrated and angry....keep on moving ...because if I keep living in regret...keep on moving...because if I keep on feeling like I'm not enough...keep on moving... because...
